Bad online dating stories reddit gone do guys take online dating seriously

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It was a hot summer day in a shitty apartment with no AC. We were going at it, and that's when I (quite happily) found out she is a screamer.It was intense and passionate; we lost ourselves in each other..."—Reddit user Infinitely Thirsting"I have the tendency to squeeze my pelvic muscles (really hard) during sex and the guys really [like] that.I must've squeezed way too hard, because the condom stuck to me as he was thrusting in and out.At some point one of the men in the conversation said 'I've only been to New Jersey twice and that was two times too many.' My girlfriend, while on top, turned towards the window and silently gave the man the double bird, then continued on."—Reddit user virgilijus"When I first started using a flogger on my partner, I accidentally whacked him across the face... When we first tried using candle wax, I burned him. They say you never forget your first time..he sure as fuck never will."—Reddit user Palejolie"This happened back when my husband and I were first dating. I've always had problems with that filter that normal people have, that filter that keeps them from doing the things their cave-dwelling ancestors did with impunity. Suddenly the door opens, and in the .75 seconds it takes for a person to get from the doorway to being able to see the couch:"He shoves his pants under the couch and grabs a sleeping bag and pulls it over himself to pretend he is asleep.

We get down to it, I get her into position and brace her against the wall because no way can I hold her for the entire time.After some smooching, feeling up, and whatnot, I went down on her. The next morning, when I was taking a shower, I noticed some white, sticky stuff on my cock. So he leaned in, in the middle of sex, and whispered (likely in a heavy, panting, sex voice), 'Did you know that Tony Danza had a talk show?'"—Reddit user RMC89"This probably isn't the most embarrassing, but I know I will never forget the time I swallowed and there was so much semen that it came out of my nose. At least he didn't notice."—Reddit user Oh_My_Sagn"Me and my girlfriend were fucking in our apartment's gym showers, and an old lady came into the room. Knowing how candid people tend to get on Reddit, we visited the site to find out what real people cite as their funniest sex stories. From spontaneous bodily sounds to unexpected fluids to a couple of way-too-friendly pets, these stories put our own sexual crack-ups to shame."One time during sex, my S. and I tried to do the 'roll over while still boning' thing to switch positions from girl on top to missionary.We both went for it, but somehow we tried to roll opposite ways, and his rolling managed to send me flying completely off the bed, caught air and everything.

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